i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
