We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
