you turned your livingroom into a bong?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
