just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
