You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
