You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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