I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
