i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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