so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
