so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
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