just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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