I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
