And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
