State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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