You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
