she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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