Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
