How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
