She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
