it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
