Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You've changed since you got that strap on
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
