hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
