Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
