Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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