Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
