office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
