New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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