i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
