Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
