CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
