Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
