If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
