She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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