pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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