so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
