You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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