Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
