i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
