i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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