the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
