You work out of a Hotel?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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