I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
