I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I wish you could order shots online.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
