Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
