i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
