but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
