I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
