Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
