are you so shy because you have an std?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
