talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
