we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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