I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
