i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
