Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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